And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
