3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
