I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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