he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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