Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
