He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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