I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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