porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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