my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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