p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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