it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
