If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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