he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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