ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize