Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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