I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
