Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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