Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
