'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
