dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
