He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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