idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
