I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm always down for nudity.
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