God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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