Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize