I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
