I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
