Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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