New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
