so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
