U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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