apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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