Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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