haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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