Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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