You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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