yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
