just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
