yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
