So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
