We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
