i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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