Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
