He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
