Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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