I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
