How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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