Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
