i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
