This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
