erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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