You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
