I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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