Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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