Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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