your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
