do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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