Your dad touched me again.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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