As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The uberlube is also flammable
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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