Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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