What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
