dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
