what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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